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  • in Writing
  • 6 min read

NASty Business

Over the last month or so, my poor co-workers have been my captive audience for many hours of discussion and rambling about my desire to upgrade / rebuild / replace my NAS (Network Attached Storage) solution at my house. Currently, I have three NASs: a Synology DS216j, a Synology DS418, and a homemade AMD Ryzen based system in my Fractal Design Define 7 case.

Synology DS216j NAS

Synology DS216j NAS

The DS216j was my first NAS purchased in the mid-late 2010s. Before this I primarily used an array of external hard drives, flash drives, and whatever else I could scrounge up to keep my stuff relatively straight and findable. With the DS216, I purchased two 4 TB Seagate IronWolf NAS hard drives for around $130 a pop. The 4 TB of usable space the RAID 1 setup provided was incredible and I quickly made use of this newly available digital real estate.

Synology DS418 NAS

Synology DS418 NAS

About two years after that, I got my first IT job and began to make some real money ($7.80 an hour), allowing me to buy NAS No. 2. Around 2019, my DS418 made its way into my home and into my heart. I backed up the DS216j, removed the RAID 1 array, formatted both drives, and slapped them into my new four bay enclosure. I picked up two more Seagate 4 TB drives (for around $115 each) and completed my first RAID 5 array. Now with 12 TB of usable space.

Four years later and the time has come for me to upgrade once more. I actually purchased a new set of four 8 TB IronWolf drives ($160 a piece this time) around six months ago, even going so far as to build my own NAS out of spare parts and some Unbuffered ECC DDR4 that I picked up on eBay. This system seemed to work well, but in the Define 7 case, it was just too unwieldy and cumbersome to implement in my small house.

I almost took the lazy route of cutting my losses and buying a QNAP TS-462 enclosure and calling it a day. But this unit is (at the time of writing, $470). This is too much for my tight budget so I decided to stick to the DIY path and build one on my own. This venture will require a bit of planning and some thrifty shopping, spanning a few different online retailers and continents.

CW-N5105-NAS Motherboard

CW-N5105-NAS Motherboard

Firstly, I need a motherboard. Something with an SOC and at least four SATA ports, a NIC, and preferably in an ITX form factor. I decided to go with an off-brand Intel Pentium SOC board similar to the unit pictures and that NASCompares brought to my attention in this video. The unit I went with was about $130 on AliExpress.

This MOBO has six SATA ports, four 2.5G NICs, two DDR4 SO-DIMM slots, and two M.2 NVMe slots. This should be way more I/O and connections than I need for my setup, but I'll take it and consider it room to grow into.

Unbranded 4-Bay NAS Enclosure

Unbranded 4-Bay NAS Enclosure

Secondly, I need an enclosure. My Define 7 is a great case, sturdy, and with more 3.5" bays than I can afford to fill, but it's very heavy and imposing for the small amount of components I planned to stuff into it. The perfect case for my needs would be rather small and closer to the form factor of a standard 4-Bay NAS, preferably with four or more 3.5" hot-swap bays, support for a standard Mini ITX board, and cost less than $100 (I'm not made of money).

I found the above no-name case that really fit the bill and for around $80 new on Amazon. Along with that case, I grabbed a Noctua 80mm case fan to replace the stock exhaust and four left-angle (?) SATA cables to better suit this chassis.

T.F. SkywindIntl Flex ATX PSU

T.F. SkywindIntl Flex ATX PSU

Thirdly, I need a Flex ATX / 1U power supply. This is turning out to be the most difficult component to obtain, at least for a reasonable price. Silverstone has a reputable unit, but I can't justify spending another hundred dollars on yet another PSU to add to my collection. With a reputable brand out of the question, I'll resort to a less-reputable source to obtain a PSU. With slim options, I'm leaning away from the cheap Apevia unit that is usually at the top of search results and toward some even less well-known brand named T.F. Skywindintl that I found on AliExpress, Amazon, and eBay.

The unit pictured seems to cover all my bases and (assuming it doesn't blow up) should serve this build well. I'll probably go with this unit on eBay for around $50, the 60-day return window offered by the seller is a plus too.

Once all these components come in, I may make a follow-up post that details any weird aspects of the build that may materialize.

Topton NAS N1

Topton NAS N1

2024 Update: I sold both of the Synology NAS enclosures to a coworker, bought and assembled all of the parts I specified above for a custom NAS, and even purchased another NAS enclosure, the latest one being a Topton NAS N1 (shown above). This Topton NAS is fairly cheap and often sold as a white label enclosure through various different brands on sites like AliExpress (where I got mine). It has an AMD APU, 2x DDR3 SO-DIMM slots, 2x NVMe M.2 slots, and 2x 3.5" HDD bays. I replaced the generic fan with a Noctua branded one, but I had to zip-tie it on as the fan screws weren't compatible with it.

The custom NAS has been working well, it's pretty quiet, and was fairly easy to build. I started off the project with four 8TB Seagate Iron Wolf drives, one of which died right away and I sent it off in July to be RMA'd (six months later and I have still not received this drive back). I set this NAS aside until around October, then I spent a good chunk of change on four 16TB WD UltraStar drives. These drives in a RAIDZ2 gave me about three-dozen Terabytes of storage which should last me quite a while.

Currently, I'm using just these latest two NASs for storage; The Topton NAS N1 for media and a Jellyfin server and the custom NAS as general storage and backups.

  • in Writing
  • 1 min read

Digital Afterlife

A meme about turning into a computer

A meme about turning into a computer

Assuming that life doesn't get inexplicably better before I'm old, I plan to retire my body (when the tech has arrived) and my consciousness into the silicon (or other future material) world.

I'm not terribly concerned about the cosmic, "SOMA" questions about whether you could actually move or merely copy a consciousness into a digital medium. Humans don't know what a consciousness really is or what happens after death and I sincerely doubt that will change in sixty years. I'll take my chances with the cybergods (and I'll be one of them soon enough).

So while you meatbags are rotting in the ground, I'll be in cyberspace; surfing the net, playing Minecraft, and reading all the books that I can cram into my flash chips.

Assuming I don't get murdered, imprisoned, or wheeled into the county morgue by any other untimely means that is.

  • in Writing
  • 4 min read

Cutting Ribbons, Cutting Teeth

Dell Inspiron 530S

Dell Inspiron 530S

I grew up in a rural part of the US in the early 2000s. I didn't have much in the way of technology for most of my younger years. At the age of eight or so, my family got a Dell Inspiron 530S for my siblings and I to play on. We still didn't have much in the way of internet however, most of the time on the computer was spent playing old PC games (Zoo Tycoon was the family favorite). My Dad's blackberry was used as a tethered hotspot for the family desktop for quite a while. Eventually, we upgraded to a 3G hotspot from Verizon with a 5 GB data limit each month. This was great as we could start to use the internet in a more stable and regular manner.

After using this desktop for a number of years and getting well acquainted with Windows Vista, my Dad noticed my growing computer proficiency. One day, around the age of eleven, he sat me down and said something like this:

"Son, you are more gifted with using a computer than I will ever be. I've worked with my hands all my life, but computers, they are the future. I want you to build your own computer, I'll help you buy the parts, but you've got to do the rest. I know you don't know much about how they work, but I want you to learn."

So I did. I spent many months reading, asking questions, and watching videos about how computers work, what they're made of, and why anyone would build their own computer when they could just buy one. Level1Techs, Linus Tech Tips, Bitwit, and The Tom's Hardware forum (just to name a few) were all tremendously helpful for someone who knew next to nothing about computers at ten but was able to build their very own desktop by age twelve.

That desktop did not last forever, as no computer will, and after a number of years of service, there had been an issue with the power supply that led to the death of the machine. Looking back, it was probably easily fixable, but no matter. The desktop was given to me to take care of and I disassembled it for what parts I could take. The 120 GB hard drive (iirc), the few gigs of DDR2, CPU, and Motherboard all made their way out of the device and into my possession.

I held on to the chassis as well, but as I learned more about computers, I realized that this chassis didn't have a removable I/O shield. In its stead was a fixed plate, for only the original motherboard. This wouldn't do, so I cut out the plate with some tools and I was eventually able to fit an aftermarket motherboard in that case. Later, I realized what a terrible cut job I had made, so I trashed the whole thing and moved on.

After doing months of research and a lot of reading on the matter, I was confident that I could pick the correct parts to build a functional computer. My Dad and I sat down, we navigated Amazon and eBay and Newegg, eventually settling on a selection of parts. Most notably, an MSI GeForce GTS 450 graphics card. This card was terrible, even for the time. But it was inexpensive and was compatible with the parts I had. Some of the needed parts (a chassis, power supply, and disk drive) I had on hand from an old PC that my Dad's boss donated to my project.

A few weeks later (before the time of 2-Day shipping) my parts had arrived and I got to work. With the new GPU installed, my desktop idled on my Windows Vista desktop in crisp 1680×1050. As a bit of incentive when I was planning my computer, a friend of mine gave me his old copy of Fallout 3 to play once my new PC was assembled. I quickly installed it and fired it up to test my new digs. The green haze of the Capitol Wasteland glowed brightly on my shining face.

I wholly enjoyed the experience of building, installing, and playing a game on my new-ish PC, but the machine was slow, loud, and I'm pretty sure I didn't make sure my PSU had a high enough wattage rating to support playing a game. I knew I needed to upgrade parts eventually, but my Dad wasn't an ATM, so every computer I've built or bought since has been funded solely by myself. I also knew I needed to build something better, with new and current parts, and build I did.

By high school, I had built several computers, I became the go-to "IT Guy" in my class, and I assisted a lot of teachers and students with their computer questions and problems. I even built a few desktops for my teachers, taking a small profit of course.

  • in Writing
  • 3 min read

If the Case Fits

PC Components Compatibility Matrix

PC Components Compatibility Matrix

There are generally eight different computer parts that one needs to keep in mind for solid compatibility when building a desktop from scratch. As illustrated, the chassis or case has a compatibility relationship with five of the eight components. I found this graphic in a Bitwit YouTube video >> How to Choose Parts for a PC! The Ultimate Compatibility Guide!

Note: Although there are usually eight general categories of components, specialized systems may have a larger number of interacting components, requiring more detailed consideration to avoid conflicts.

In most cases and in most cases (pun intended), there will be some level of tolerances marked to ensure the builder is aware of a particular case’s limits on what can and can’t be installed into it safely. These are usually provided in the product's description, in a user manual, or stamped into the frame of the case. This information can help determine what motherboard standoffs go where, what size fan(s) can be installed, and maximum CPU cooler height.

There are also various standardized sizes for computer cases. These range from gigantic E-ATX cases all the way down to the rarely seen, super-small Pico-ITX cases. Most PC enthusiasts seem to flock toward Full ATX, Mid ATX, or Micro ATX. These are mostly standard sizes that make up the vast majority of aftermarket computer cases.

My personal preferences are between Micro ATX and Mini ITX. As I never use more than one graphics card at a given time and store >90% of my data on my 16 TB Synology NAS, I rarely need a very roomy chassis. My current build is housed in a Fractal Design Define Mini C. This is a steel-bodied, Micro ATX case, with noise dampening foam, fan filters from all sides, and zero RGB. It’s a silent black box that sits in the corner and that’s just the way I like it.

Note: In the two years that have passed since I wrote the majority of this essay, I have changed cases a number of times: usually switching between the above Define Mini C; a Cooler Master Elite 120 Advanced; and a Thermaltake "The Tower" 100.

I don't always use the "black box in the corner" style of case. As I noted above, I own a variety of cases that stray slightly from this format and into a slightly more stylish territory (depending on your definition). I'll also often switch between some of these cases for my

The Elite 120 fits in my backpack; the Define 7 is enormous and can fit over a dozen 3.5" HDDs; the Define Mini C is a manageable size and solid as a rock; the Tower 100 has a vertical design and is good for showing off; the Core V21 is cube shaped and I have my guest gaming PC in it currently; and the last two are mostly used for testing purposes.

  • in Writing
  • 4 min read

Coined Words and Phrases

This is a collection of all of the words and phrases that I have come up with over the years. For a list of words I'd like to remember, click here.

Adjectives

Formotypical - adj.

  1. Characteristic of a particular form, pattern, or structural type; having the typical shape or configuration associated with something.
  2. Exhibiting the standard characteristics and expectations of a group, especially relating to written material(s).

Adverb

Twonce /twəns/ - adv.

  1. An action performed in two instances at one time.


- Usage: "Twonce" is used to describe an action or event that occurs in two distinct but concurrent instances, emphasizing simultaneity rather than repetition.

Nouns

All-night Mouth - n. - 2024-10-11

  1. The unpleasant condition of the mouth after a full night's sleep, characterized by dryness, stale breath, and a general sense of oral decay. Broader in scope than morning breath, as it refers to the entire mouth rather than just odor.


- Ex: Camping without water gave me quite the case of all-night mouth.

Diagnostic Silence - n. - 2024-12-21

  1. A deliberate pause or period of quiet used to observe, detect, or confirm a sound, signal, or anomaly within a system.
  2. (by extension) Any intentional moment of stillness employed to gain insight into a complex process or environment.


- Ex: The mechanic held a diagnostic silence, listening for the rattle that only appeared when the engine idled.

Formotypicality, -ies - n.

  1. The state of being formotypical.

Hyper-Lottery - n. - 2025-04-01

  1. A game or venture of extreme risk and reward, in which participants stake something of immense or irreplaceable value for a chance at extraordinary gain. Unlike an ordinary lottery, where losses are trivial or expected, a hyper-lottery involves disproportionate stakes—the potential loss is catastrophic, while the prize is almost unimaginably great.
  2. (figurative) Any situation in which someone wagers their reputation, future, or well-being on an outcome of vast uncertainty.


- Ex: Investing your life savings in that startup was a hyper-lottery, not a business plan.

Jaden Bait - n. - 2020-06-25

  1. Overly stylized or gaudy consumer electronics, usually with RGB lights or excessive flair.

Kennedy Defense - n. - 2025-03-30

  1. A dubious or bad-faith legal argument in which the defendant attributes an injury or fatality to spontaneous bodily failure—especially of the victim's head or body—rather than to any external cause or their own actions.
  2. (informal, ironic) Any attempt to dismiss clear causation with implausible explanations that defy logic or physics.


- Ex: The lawyer's claim that the victim's skull "just did that" was a textbook Kennedy Defense.

Late Night Sleep Crazies - n.

  1. A semi-dreamlike state, typically occurring while drifting into or emerging from sleep, in which the mind generates rapid, intricate streams of information or thoughts that seem logical in the moment but dissolve into incoherent fragments upon later reflection.


- Insight: I usually notice this phenomenon when I am asked a question and my response is nonsensical and off-topic.

Leering Gap - n.

  1. A conspicuous opening in an otherwise closed or sealed structure, often large enough to compromise its integrity or intended function.
  2. A breach or separation in a surface, joint, or enclosure that was designed to remain airtight, watertight, or otherwise sealed.


- Ex: The inspection found a leering gap between the door and the frame, letting in cold air.

Nuts and Bolts & Rocks and Sticks - n.

  1. Superfluous or intrusive additions to an otherwise complete or straightforward system, project, or recipe.
  2. Unwanted embellishments or complications that distract from the main purpose or degrade simplicity.


- Ex: This app's interface is full of nuts and bolts—animations, pop-ups, and menus no one asked for.
- Ex: Don't ruin the potato salad with rocks and sticks; just keep it simple.

Oddservation - n. - 2023-05-06

  1. A curious or peculiar observation; the act or result of noticing something unusual, humorous, or out of place.
  2. A term for a witnessed or remarked-upon event that defies ordinary explanation or expectation.

Pocket Cost - n. - 2025-04-16

  1. The physical or practical burden of carrying an item in one's pocket, especially in terms of size, weight, shape, or comfort. A lower pocket cost indicates ease of carrying; a higher pocket cost suggests inconvenience, bulk, or discomfort.
  2. (by extension) Any small but persistent inconvenience associated with keeping or maintaining something on one's person.

Scanner's Folly - n. - 2023-10-04

  1. The mistake of disposing of an original document before verifying the accuracy or completeness of its digital copy.
  2. (figurative) Any act of premature trust in technology that leads to irreversible loss or error.

Verb

Bowling Green Hello - v.

  1. A humorous or unconventional greeting in which two or more men offer to shake each other's penis instead of hands.
  2. A deliberately awkward or exaggerated greeting between men, typically involving overfamiliar gestures or misunderstanding of boundaries.

Christopher Reeve - v. - Adapted from Chris Ray Gun

  1. To fall in such a way that one suffers extreme or lasting harm.


- Ex: I almost fucking Christopher Reeved myself! -Chris Ray Gun

Grand Canyon - v.

  1. To give a poorly executed and violent hand-job.
  • in Writing
  • 8 min read

Dreams

A collection of dream journals.

2025

2025-06-05: Omen of Asshole

An AI Recreation of the Vulture

An AI Recreation of the Vulture

The local Sheriff's department requested that a computer system be installed on a small tree for surveillance purposes. This tree happened to be outside my bedroom window (of my Dad's house).

I went onsite to install the tiny computer, but as I did, a large storm developed and began to engulf the house and surrounding area. I was greeted by my grand-boss, and he said that there was a large bird that was scaring my stepmother near the house. I completed my work and made my way back to the house.

Now inside, I walked toward the front door and as I looked through the door's window, I see a porch and walkway, a black backdrop, bathed in yellow light from the single bulb that is affixed to the front of the house. Sitting on a branch near the door was a large vulture.

I flipped it off and called it an "omen of asshole"—this seems to be a reference to the Inn of Ill Omen, a location from the 2006 game TES IV: Oblivion—as I flipped him off, the bird turned to me and raised out an arm from beneath his tucked wings, then he proceeded to flip me off. The arm moved in a jerking, inhuman manner.

2024

2024-06-20: The Cloak and the Offering

An AI Recreation of the Tupperware ceremony

An AI Recreation of the Tupperware ceremony

"Shouldn't you behave yourself? The decisions you make now affect changes that always beget change." Susan said with a hint of motherly concern.

When her words dried up, I gathered my offering in a plastic Tupperware and crawled out of the muddy crawl space.

The house had a foundation of stones held together with an old mortar and seem to not have aged since the day they were assembled.

On my feet, I walk with Susan to the circle.

Eight cloaked figures sat facing each other in total silence, except for one. My sponsor turned from the others and faced me. The blood-red cowl and cape completely concealed her. Even the hole where her face should be was just a black void, that seemed to absorb all the light that reflected off of me.

I approached the circle, sat in the grass, and tightly grasped my plastic container. Another red-cloaked figure began the ceremony and made a short speech. Then came my turn to address the circle.

2024-03-09: Parliament Car

An AI Recreation of the Parliament car

An AI Recreation of the Parliament car

I dreamt I was at a gas station and the cutest little car parked at the pump next to me. It was a small, Soviet-looking car that was painted to look like a pack of Parliament Lights! It was boxy / rectangular and it felt like it was half the size of a Smart Car.

I asked the girl in the front seat if I could test drive it. She was hesitant, but I tossed her my keys so she would have some collateral. She agreed after a little convincing, tossed me the keys, and I was on my way.

I went down a small stretch of road, no longer than a half mile or so without incident. A brain wave of Stupidity crashed a little short of the beach and I soon found myself drifting into an open garage. I clipped the ass end on the wall coming in, breaking the taillight and denting the body.

Cut to a few hours later: Now I'm talking to insurance companies, the police, and the homeowner with a busted up mini-car in their garage. I woke up just after seeing the security can footage of the crash.

2020

2020-04-18: The Bath

An AI Recreation of the bath in the field

An AI Recreation of the bath in the field

The dream about the fields of puddles. A pristine, stone bath rests in the middle of the landscape. No trees or greenery from edge to edge. A narrow stone path leading up to the bath. A large, flat stone sits by the bath.

A tired traveler is seen slowly approaching the bath. The man reaches the flat stone and smiles as he slowly rubs the edge as he makes his way along it. He removes his pack, folds his long coat, and places his helmet atop his pile of folded affairs.

Facing towards the bath, the man is seen standing at the foot of the stairs.

2020-04-07: Tank Frogs

An AI Recreation of the tank frogs

An AI Recreation of the tank frogs

I was in my room but it had flooded with water. I had a tank full of frogs that got swept away in the flood. I retrieved the tank, got it to shore, there was a bunch of beautiful corral in the tank now, but it seems the frogs were dead. The main one changed from green to orange. I assumed that they were just cold and waterlogged since they were kinda still moving. I got some warm water and poured it into the tank but that only seemed to make things worse.

2018

2018-10-23: Office Diver

An AI Recreation of the office diver

An AI Recreation of the office diver

I was in an office building where one of the offices was sealed with silicone, as if the entire room had been waterproofed like a giant aquarium. The room was completely filled with water, and suspended within it was a man in a scuba suit, sitting in a chair at a desk. He moved slowly as he typed on his waterproof computer. Near the door, a narrow metal ladder was poorly bolted to the wall and it led up into a hole in the ceiling, the only apparent exit. Light filtered down from above, giving the room a dim, bluish glow.

2018-07-25

An AI Recreation of the trolley wolves

An AI Recreation of the trolley wolves

I found myself in a forest filled with dense, tangled undergrowth and towering trees, their canopies casting deep shadows over the forest floor. In the midst of this wild terrain stood a beautifully handcrafted trolley—ornate and old-fashioned, with rich wood paneling, brass fixtures, and intricate carvings that seemed almost ceremonial. It looked wildly out of place, like it had rolled in from another time or world. The forest was alive with tension; I could hear the low growls and movement of packs of Iron Wolves—massive, metallic beasts with glowing eyes and the fluid motion of something both animal and machine. The trolley offered no clear destination, but it felt like a refuge.

2018-03-24: Skeletons in the Stalls

My family and I were staying in a large house that belonged to another family. When I went to use the bathroom, I found a bunch of stalls in terrible condition—dirty, broken, and unsettling. I later learned that the family used to live in the bathroom beneath the house and had killed the original owner.

2018-01-29: Learning the Ropes

An AI Recreation of the shoelaces

An AI Recreation of the shoelaces

I dreamt I was working at a sperm bank with very little direction about what I was supposed to be doing. My office had three locked refrigerator safes (presumably full of sperm cups), along with a desk, phone, and computer. On my first day, I mostly just killed time, playing on the computer for a few hours. Eventually, I got called upstairs to the boss's office, where the whole team had gathered. She scolded me for not answering any phone calls. I told her the phone had never rung. She then pulled all the female employees into another room to speak privately.

While they were gone, I talked to the only other male employee. He eventually got up to go pee. A few minutes later, everyone came back and the boss scolded us for what we had apparently been talking about while she was gone. I got sent downstairs to the lobby to do paperwork. Down there, I was interacting with people interested in donating or receiving sperm for IVF. I handed out forms and pens. The lobby was half-restaurant, filled with chaos; kids running around, throwing food, creating a mess.

The scene gradually shifted into a school cafeteria. I was sitting with a group of friends and a cute girl. A Spanish guy with face tattoos suddenly burst in and started shooting up the place. We fought back with a food fight. I hid under a table.

Later, I found a seemingly endless supply of shoelaces in the gutter outside someone's house. We asked the homeowner if we could have them. He said no.

2018-01-23: The Broccoli Incident

I walked into a Cracker Barrel-style steakhouse and gift shop, where I was given a free steak and sat down to eat it. A man—white, late twenties to early thirties, with short hair and stubble—sat next to me. I assumed we had a drug deal arranged. I handed him the money, and he gave me a bag of broccoli instead. Frustrated and angry, I stabbed him with a steak knife. I was promptly arrested.

2017

2017-08-19

There’s a huge storm happening outside, and I’m watching it from the front yard while fireworks go off at the same time. Somehow, a demon gets into the house, and Dad complains about it.

Later, I’m with a friend, sorting food rations, and I tell them to stop leaving every orange juice container half-finished.

2017-06-11

In a dark hallway, a large, imposing landlord-like Japanese man stands opposite a young Japanese woman, who appears to be dead. Her spirit suddenly rushes past him, and a close-up reveals his face as blackened and decayed, with milky, lifeless eyes.

  • in Writing
  • 1 min read

Poems

A collection of poems that I have discovered and enjoyed.

  • in Writing
  • 2 min read

Poems

A collection of my poetry.

2022

2022-03-13: Labels

Labels be they, oh labels be they.

We use these labels 'most every day.

Mark up the discs, the books, the kids.

Labels on all that can't be missed.

For what does a labels place be in?

The sun, the wind, the sky, the sin.

The laundry basket, the rubbish bin.

Labels all and labels win.

For speech a label makes a name.

For rules and objects, playing games.

For animals, plants; the small or cute.

For larger things, that huff, and snoot.

For all there is a label now.

For what's unknown can't be pinned down.

A label of paper may one day fall.

For labels don't fit well on all.

With eyes all shut and bodies left.

The thought of labels is long bereft!

When sun is gone, the earth is cold.

Not one more person growing old.

Labels are done, from times that passed.

Those paper labels, not built to last.

2022-03-13: A Country Life

A country life is the life for me

The fresh mowed grass and poplar trees

A porch to sit, some tea to sip

I'll watch the horses prance and skip

The chickens crow, and strut, and peck

The lumber's here, let's build a deck

A fence post leans, on either side

It's rainin' now, best head inside

All cuddled up, the fire roars

My love for you forever soars

You're sittin' there so soft and bright

I'm glad you got to be my wife

Our kids're somewhere raisin' hell

Those little tikes, I love 'em well

We'll raise 'em up, then let 'em go

Our hair is turning white as snow

We're older now, and losing sight

A cane to stand, with vintage pipe

The kid's are here, they got the rest

Now's time for us to leave the nest

We'll go together, hand in hand

The Upward Path, Creator's plan

I love you dearest, that much is true

A country life, for me and you

2020

2020-11-29: MORGAN

Making

Observations

Regarding

Great

Art &

Novels

2020-11-11: Dawn

hours later my eyes are open

and my head is pounding

I open the shades

to see a bright world

bathed in an orange veil

while the sun is nowhere to be seen

  • in Writing
  • 2 min read

Quotes from Books

Below is my collection of quotes from books, essays, and other writings. The dates and sources are located above a given quote when available. Any errors in the reproduction of these quotes are my responsibility. Enjoy.

Books

Anonymous (NL)

Chameleon in a Candy Store

I wouldn't have even entertained such puss-whippery if she wasn't so sexually adept and in certain lights, and on certain days, and in her own way, quite beautiful, in a non-conventional sort of way.

Anonymous (NL)

Chameleon in a Candy Store

I prayed that I might be struck in love with her, it would be so much easier. She was a ready-made life in waiting.

Borges, Jorge

The Library of Babel

Oh time thy pyramids.

Keyes Jr., Ken

The Hundredth Monkey (p. 108)

For animals

eat other animals

and no species can survive

if all of its members

are eaten up.

Molyneux, Stefan

Universally Preferable Behavior

[...] where there is no consistency, there can be no accuracy.

Nietzsche, Friedrich

On the Genealogy of Morals

Rome felt that the Jews were something contrary to nature itself, something like its monstrous polar opposite. In Rome the Jew was considered "guilty of hared against the entire human race". And that view was correct...

Pound, Ezra

ABC of Reading (p. 25)

Any general statement is like a cheque drawn on a bank. Its value depends on what is there to meet it. If Mr. Rockefeller draws a cheque for a million dollars it is good. If I draw one for a million it is a joke, a hoax, it has no value. If it is taken seriously, the writing of it becomes a criminal act.

Pound, Ezra

ABC of Reading (p. 32)

If a nation's literature declines, the nation atrophies and decays.

Pound, Ezra

ABC of Reading (p. 42)

At about this point the weak-hearted reader usually sits down in the road, removes his shoes and weeps that he 'is a bad linguist' or that he or she can't possibly learn all those languages.

Sebastian, Michael

Staying Married in a Degenerate Age (p. 52)

[In regards to television] As long as you are aware of what the producers are trying to achieve, it is easier to dismiss the message without any ill effect.

Tort, Cesar

On Beth's Cute Tits (p. 102)

[...] it seems that women have been built to be rapeable creatures, with only other males being able to prevent rape in our society.

Essays and Other Writings

  • in Writing
  • 7 min read

Quotes from Media

Below is my collection of quotes from Movies, TV, Videogames, and a host of other places. The dates and sources are located above a given quote when available. Any errors in the reproduction of these quotes are my responsibility. Enjoy.

Internet Videos & YouTube

Alain de Botton

Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person (00:18:25)

[...] the demand for perfection will lead you to only one thing: loneliness. You cannot have perfection and company. To be in company with another person is to be negotiating imperfection every day.

Ian Mccollum

Forgotten Weapons

I am the way and the light. Except the light is occasionally muzzle flash.

Wendell – Level1Techs

Level1 News October 16 2020: Un-BEAR-ably Thicc (00:12:02)

Every now and then I accidentally use Bing and it only reinforces my behavior to never ever use that search engine again. I have wasted the time. Why did I do that?

Ryan – Level1Techs

Level1 News

Someone's going to come up with a phone app that's going to tell you when to charge your phone for maximum battery life and Apple is going to ban that app.

Ryan – Level1Techs

Level1 News

We have investigated ourselves and found no wrongdoing.

Movies

The Honorable Dr. Garech Browne

Francis Bacon: A Brush with Violence [2017] (00:21:49)

I think that when you're very young, you don't have preconceived notions of what is shocking, you just look at things to see if they are beautiful.

Tom (Charlie Sheen)

Scary Movie 3 [2003] (01:06:55)

They mastered space flight, but they can't get through a wooden door?

TV Shows

Jake the Dog

Adventure Time (S01E25 07:07)

Dude, sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something.

Jake the Dog

Adventure Time (S09E13 08:00)

I can't come to the phone right now. I'm either hanging with Finn, my kids, my GF, or I'm dead. Bye!

Stan Smith

American Dad (S03E16 01:19)

Francine, you're not looking at my fingers. Look how close they are together.

Stan Smith

American Dad (S08E02 06:30)

The place is sealed tighter than an unlubricated Komzel valve.

Raymond Holt

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S02E12 21:18)

Any smile that lasts longer than a second and a half is a con man's ruse.

Raymond Holt

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S05E21 03:29)

[...] exaggeration is the huckster's crutch.

Michael Hitchcock

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S06E04 10:06)

First rule of the bum barrel: never ask somebody what they're burning.

Raymond Holt (as quoted by Terry Jeffords)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S07E01 19:26)

Never use italics, lest people people think you are a con man or a clown.

Eric Duckman

Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (S03E06 09:12)

[...] And when you think about it, isn't that exactly the point?

Parking? And driving, and shopping, and eating, and working?

Somewhere, somehow, they all got chewed up and spit back out. They don't taste like living anymore! Don't you see what it's like in this deranged whirring blender of a world?

Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt.

Ah, you never forget your senior prom.

You think I'm sick? Well the only disease I've got is modern life, a shnug-busting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of letdowns, putdowns, trickle-downs, shutouts, freezeouts, sellouts, numbnuts, nincompoops and nimrods!

All making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue!

And even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like say if some nymphomaniac telephone operator with the muscle control of Romanian mat slappers agree to a little strip air hockey, it will be over before it starts!

'cause some foul lacking, Feta-reeking cab jockey slams his checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata-spanker from a Santaria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big that all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete!

And even with all this, with all this! I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day!

Knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those pearly gates, I won't be in the coffin anyways, because some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted good and plenty to that same Santaria cult!

So does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails, while life dirty dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder THAT I SEEM DERANGED?

Peter Griffin

Family Guy (S06E17 06:08)

Go ahead, mock me! But it wasn't Stewie who was laughing at me. It was God!

Peter Griffin

Family Guy (S07E08 01:46)

You don't know nothing... about anything.

House M.D.

If it's dry, keep it wet. If it's wet, keep it dry. If it's not supposed to be there, cut it off.

– Gregory House, S01E13 04:38


Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause.

– Gregory House, S02E08 17:03


Everything is conditional. You just can't always anticipate the conditions.

– Gregory House, S03E07 11:48


Any country with that low an age of consent and that high a suicide rate isn't thinking straight.

– Gregory House, S04E05 15:46


If the wonder's gone when the truth is known, [then] there never was any wonder.

– Gregory House, S04E08 18:58


Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

I don't really read or write too good, it's a hassle.

– Seth Powers, S02E14 06:09


Superstore

People are basically just monsters hiding behind the thin veneer of social convention.

– Dena, S03E15 02:37


The Simpsons

It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.

– Homer Simpson, S10E08 02:36


You'd think a houseful of crazy people would be fun, it's actually really depressing.

– Bart Simpson, S19E16 16:28


Tosh.0

Every culture has their own made-up nightmares: Mexicans have [the] Chupacabra, the Chinese have dragons, White people have black people, and women have romantic comedies.

– Daniel Tosh, S03E21 09:29


The most effective way to use a sword is to melt it down and turn it into a gun. This is America, we'll never run out of bullets!

– Daniel Tosh, S05E06 07:00


[...] and stop saying you see a future together. I don't want to date an oracle. Let me guess, in my future, I was still miserable?

– Daniel Tosh, S06E20 08:15


People with carpeted stairs cannot be trusted to make good decisions.

– Daniel Tosh, S07E02 03:22


Don't you love it when people in school are like 'I'm a bad test taker'. You mean you're stupid. Oh you struggle with that part where we find out what you know?

– Daniel Tosh, Happy Thoughts (2011), 00:23:10


When I'm in a relationship, I can go two to three weeks without thinking about sex. When I'm single, I need to masturbate twice a day before I step outside or I will sexually assault someone. – Daniel Tosh, People Pleaser (2016), 00:36:32


Two and a Half Men

The world I live in is dark, dark and rainy.

– Alan Harper, S01E01 16:15


It's a public service when a gay chick goes lipstick instead of lumberjack.

– Charlie Harper, S01E11 01:17


Let me tell you something, Alan. You're only as young as the women you feel and lately I've been feeling about 24.

– Charlie Harper, S04E16 04:22


[...] and you never bang a woman who owns a snake or a bird.

– Charlie Harper, S06E12 05:34


Videogames

Fallout: New Vegas (2010)

He's a sick one, but I guess the work calls for it.

– Dermot


The Stanley Parable (2013)

Choice.

It's the best part of being a real person. But if used incorrectly can also be the most dangerous.

For example: In this scenario, a hypothetical, 'real person' named Stephen has a real choice.

Remember that, unlike here, the real world makes sense and at no time should you make a choice that does not conform to rational logic. If you find yourself speaking with a person that does not make sense, in all likelihood, that person is not real.

Allow the person to finish their thought, then provide an excuse for why you cannot continue talking. Turn to a partner and practice saying 'My goodness, is it 4:30? I am supposed to be having a back, sack, and crack.'

– The Narrator